I hate my life

Shit day. Worse because it should have been good.

It started out well with Xbox this morning with Rob and Steve. We played L4D2 which was really good until we got to the end of the mall which was insanely frustrating but then we realised we had it on Normal instead of Easy. Once that was set, it worked out fine.

Then it was down to the pub. The first match was fine but then it began to really fill up because of the Wales/England match. I don't like crowds much anyway but something about it got to me and I began to feel really uneasy and then suddenly I had to get out of there. I still can't explain it but it took me a good few minutes of sitting in the car taking deep breaths before I began to feel normal again. It wasn't a panic attack exactly but...well, I don't know. I've never felt like that before in that kind of situation.

There had been idle talk of getting a takeaway after the pub and after I was sat at home for a while I thought fuck it, I'd get one anyway. I ordered an Indian and went to pick it up. On the way home, pheasants ran out and I had to brake but one of them didn't make it and slammed into the bumper. And the food bag fell on the floor and it went all over the place. Mostly on the floormat but some on the actual carpet. Then I got home and found the front right indicator was cracked and didn't work any more. And since it's a relatively rare car, it's going to be a fucking pain to find another one if it's properly broken.

Sometimes you wonder what the fuck is going on, why nothing ever goes right. It's the kind of thing that'll be funny in six months time but right now, life just seems really shitty and unfair and miserably lonely.